Baby Steps..

I put a lot of pressure on myself. Be a good mother. Be a good wife. Be a good friend. Be a good daughter. Be a good person. You get it. Well maybe I set myself up for disappointment. Can't always be good right? What about being good enough? Trying to change some old behavior. Trying to take better care of myself...physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. I'm pretty impatient with myself. I mess up all the time too. But, I've already ridden the pity party train much too long. Time to suck it up and let go of the old B.S. that keeps me down. The weird thing is that even though I'm ready to evolve I'm sad. Why? My life is changing ..and I feel like I'm losing something. I am also gaining a lot...but for a while I think I have been a "glass is half empty" kind of gal. Wasn't always that way. Mostly I have a positive outlook on life. I like to trust in the goodness of people. But there's an old tape that sometimes plays in my head that people aren't to be trusted. That your always being judged by past deeds or mistakes, or just by how you look. That when someone does you a kindness it's because they expect something in return ("money in the bank" someone once said to me )This bums me out. But I plug along. Seeking wisdom and information. Hoping to find joy and adventure along the way. Hoping to bring new folks into my life as I and my loved ones become healthier. Life is such an interesting journey. Wonder where it leading us? xoxo